Monday, April 15, 2013

Ugly Cake....It All Started With a Pan

The day started like any other day: get up, shower, make list of tasks for the day, eat breakfast, blah, blah, blah! So far, so good! After the curling iron fiasco (the spring sprung), the day started falling apart! Oh, don't get me wrong, it was a lovely day, everywhere but in the kitchen! I do need to digress to the night before when I baked the cake. Oh, it was a lovely cake with lots of promise.

 It started with a pan.....

I used a "White Wedding Cake" cake recipe, this is the one that was chosen for the wedding...from what I hear, it was yummy! 

The cake looks great so far...had to do a little trimming to make the bottom flat enough to accept the top! 

Okay, so Madonna might have wanted to "wear" the top piece (she'd need two)....

And now....we are back to the morning where everything went wrong in the kitchen! 
I started making the frosting, the one chosen for the wedding. The Groom wants the grocery store butter cream frosting. So, I pull out the powdered sugar (this should have been the first sign that the cake was going to be the life of me), I cannot work with powdered sugar without making a huge mess (I had guests coming over, didn't have time for a mess)....I usually wear it, it always lands on the floor, all over the counter, in my hair, on my face...this day was no different! 

The recipe called for sifted powdered sugar...I always start out by sifting too much so I can use my big bowl to catch the mess. I don't know why I think the bowl will catch it, it never does. 

After cleaning up the kitchen mess, I mixed the frosting....and mixed.....and mixed! 

This looked disgusting, I didn't think it would ever turn into frosting....hmmmm, another sign that all was not going well with this cake! But, ever the optimist.....I kept mixing and mixing and mixing! 

And this yummy concoction is what I ended up with! I should tell you....I always tell myself to go with my gut but I never do! I don't know why, my gut is always right but yet, I always, always do opposite of what my gut says! My gut said: stay with white frosting! 

I took half of the frosting and added black gel food coloring, hoping to get black to imitate the papers from the cupcakes. Well, the frosting just turned a yucky gray. I kept adding more and more and more black gel....I used the whole darned bottle and still it was not black. So, I decided to add purple gel. I was getting excited until I saw.....

PURPLE hands, PURPLE frosting all over the counter, PURPLE on the cabinets, on the floor, on the the heck did everything turn purple and why the heck was there frosting everywhere. Now, my friend (see older "Cleaning as I Go" post) would tell you that she is surprised I wasn't running around the kitchen wiping down every surface as I was trying to dye the frosting. What she doesn't know is that was exactly what I was doing and I was making it worse. Omigosh, everything was purple! I was afraid to actually go look in the mirror, I was sure my face was a mess...and we had friends AND the Bride and Groom coming over...well, they would just see how much I love them...I am sacrificing my vanity for their cake. Did I mention that it eventually becomes the Ugly Cake? 

Anyhow, I decided to bite the bullet and use the black/purple/charcoal frosting to frost the "paper" base of the cupcake cake. I made the mistake of using the big frosting tip, over filling the frosting tube...oh no, more frosting all over the floor, the walls, the counter, the! I must have washed my PURPLE hands at least 10 times. I was sticky and purple! Oh man, the cupcake was looking UGLY! There was nothing I could do to make it look better so at this point I had two choices: 1) toss the whole darned thing in the trash, sit down and cry or 2) make it the UGLIEST cake I could. Obviously, I chose 2! 

I would have taken photos but hey, my hands were sticky and purple! 

So, I pressed on! I squished frosting using various tips and white frosting over the top of the know Madonna's bra cup! Well, it really looked UGLY! But hey, I wasn't done! So, I sprayed the cupcake with Violet Purple - Wilton's spray. I added ugly sugar paste roses and sprayed some more. It still wasn't UGLY enough! I had to make it UGLIER! So, I added white and black pearl candies, sprinkled some purple, crystal flakes...more frosting, more flakes and well, I finally ran out of frosting! 

Do you want to see the final UGLY product? I wish I could forget it but I promised a couple friends I was going to post my experience...

And here it is.....ta da......the UGLY cake! 

I wish the photo could have been better but hands were sticky and purple! 

Well, I guess the cake was was eaten and the "White Wedding Cake" cake recipe was chosen for the Wedding....

Oh, they were all sweet and telling me that the cake was pretty, adorable, one wanted to tell me it was UGLY! Even though we all knew it! I knew it! But hey, it may have been UGLY and I may have had sticky, purple hands but when I finally gave up trying to make it pretty....I had a ball! 

It's Monday and guess what I found on the cabinets.....

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